Denouement
by fictiongurl3553
Summary: As he pulls her in, he couldn't help but think that but maybe in another lifetime, they would've been great. –Chapter 205 AllenLenalee


**Denouement**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man.**

**Warning: **Spoilers for Chapter 205.

**Summary**: As he pulls her in, he couldn't help but think that but maybe in another lifetime, they would've been great. –Chapter 205

* * *

His resolve is final.

He will never use the ark again; he will never look for help or accept it whether it comes from the Order or the Noah. He brings tragedy to everything he loves and cares and touches. He is not sure what he even is anymore? All he knows is that he brings chaos and conflict wherever he goes. It doesn't limit to his home, it reaches even to his enemies—_he's not so sure anymore—_ and Road and he knows that because he grasps blindly in the air, where Road was supposed to be. At first he doesn't know what to do, if he will still continue. But Road gives him a hint just before she disappear.

Tim gets smaller and he prepares the ark so that he can leave.

_This is the last time…_

But a voice echoes maybe not in the whole forest but the voice still rings in his ear and he immediately knows who it is because even though he's leaving he'll never leave the bonds behind. And that voice is unforgettable because it's the voice of the person who smiles at him all the time and always, _always_ welcomes him home. _Welcome back Allen_

She's clutching her hand to her chest as she gasps for her breath. He then and there knows that she must've been running a mile or even a kilometer not because she's gasping but because he just knows. Lenalee will do that for anyone because she's Lenalee.

"Lenalee…" he says as he turns to her. Her violet orbs are full of hope and tears and it leaves an imprint on his mind. This girl will never ever be forgotten come what may because she is part of his home and at the same time, she _is _his home. Her warm eyes and bright smile light up his heart and his entire being whenever he gets in too deep or too dark.

"Where are you going?" Her voice is calm and mild, not yet tainted with desperation although with a little fear. "They'll get mad at you if you use the gate without permission."

_LenaleeLenaleeLenalee_. He thinks of her name and a smile casts itself on his face. She has always been good with hiding her emotions from him. He remembers the first time she was mad at him. When she smiled at him that particular day, he knew she was mad at him. She avoided eye contact with him like plague. He then learns that Lenalee hates it when he sacrifices himself for the sake of others and carries the burden all to himself. She tells him again and again that they are here for him and he doesn't need to do that. He's grateful really but this time….it's different. He doesn't know if Lenalee will forgive him this time. He knows a paper bag full of dinner to his head won't solve it and make Lenalee forgive him.

So he just smiles at her now. "Yeah…I know."

"_Why?"_

Why? It's for many reasons. He's doing this all to protect his family, his home and his precious people. He's doing this for her because he doesn't know what to do if ever Apocryphos reaches them and does something terrible to them. He doesn't know what to do if she ever gets hurt in the long run because of him.

"If you go, we'll end up having to fight each other!" He knows that too. It is inevitable. Even though he's doing this for her, for them, the Vatican does not know that. They see him as a traitor, a murderer, an AWOL.

So he just grins at her and scratches his cheek. "That's true. It's okay; you can kick me as hard as you can."

"_Don't joke around!"_ She berates him and yells at him and hates that he thinks he can fool around. She can't lose him. That's just too much. Her world is already crumbling down.

"Lenalee…" He calls out her name again. "Whatever happens, I'm an exorcist." That will never change. It's his dream, his goal, his path. He will always be an exorcist and will always save akumas.

He then surprises her by hugging her. As he pulls her in, he couldn't help but think that maybe in another lifetime, they would've been great—no they will be great. But it's near impossible to have her in this lifetime. There are so many obstacles yet to conquer and so many questions that still haven't been answered. Still, he couldn't help but dream. He dreams of her and him and all of them. He dreams that he is the hero who gets his happily ever after. But he's not the hero, he knows. So he won't get the girl—_he won't get her, not ever—_and he won't get his happy ever after. It's tragic but it's his life. So he just settles on reassuring her that he will always be with them even if he dreams of other things and even if his actions say otherwise.

"Even though the paths we follow are different, that will never change." He whispers in her hair and she falls down along with him. He falls down with her and remembers the time in the ark wherein she cries and he holds her by her hand by the fingertips. This is one of their many moments and is the saddest of them all. What pains him the most is that this may also be their last moment. He wants so badly to do everything with her this one last time but he knows he can't. He wants to stand up with her, fight with her, live with her and eventually fall down with her. But he can't because there are still many questions left unanswered, many obstacles yet unconquered.

He decides to tell her what he feels in a cryptic way. It's implied but not entirely announced. "I love…you and everybody else in the Order." He separates her from them because the way his heart pounds for her is different. She's an entirely different being to him and his heart yells it out loud. _They could've been great. _They are his home. They are the one place he knows he'll go back to someday but not now.

"My true home." His hand shoots out and grasps her chin, as if he is going to kiss her. But the tears falling from her eyes tell him that that would only hurt the both of them more.

"Forever and ever." This will be his promise of a lifetime to her. This will be his assurance to her that even though he's away and gone his heart stays with them, with her.

"_Oi Lavi, Kanda…" _ he thinks of them and calls them out from his thoughts. "_Wherever you two are, you better watch Lenalee for me…I'll be gone for quite a while. I don't know when I'll be back but look after her, look after them. And look after yourselves too."_

He still believes that Kanda and Lavi are still alive. Kanda would be happy with Alma and Lavi would be with Bookman and they would be alive and breathing. And they would be with Lenalee so that they'll mend the world that he shattered to a million pieces. At least Kanda has his ending with Alma, he thinks. He's happy for them but couldn't help but wish that it was the same with him and Lenalee. He won't look back.

"_ALLEN!"_

He ignores the pain that erupts in his heart when he hears this as the ark crumbles along with her world.

* * *

**A/N: It's been a while since I posted something! Just a short one shot to my fellow readers and AllenLenalee fans. There's still no progress with the other stories especially Living with a star. I think I may have to rewrite it completely because the ending has became blurry to me. I have to rethink the whole plot again. As for Separated Destinies, I'm already working on the next chapter. That story, I'm sure of the ending. I just hope it won't disappear on me. This is my first time writing this way so mistakes are inevitable. Send me some constructive criticism. Review 'kay? It keeps me motivated.**


End file.
